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There is beauty in this ravaged world
I would like to follow and find it
Let it be known
Others don’t have to agree or accompany me but I’d love if they did
I hope to lead a life with less repetition
Routine is the enemy of existential freedom
I don’t want to be touched by senseless, vindictive negativity
I want to recognize the motives and ideals in people and in knowing them, decide if their presence is truly beneficial
No matter who they were/are/could or should be to me
“No eternal reward will forgive us now for wasting the dawn”
I am so lucky to have ever sang for my supper and I will continue to do so whenever possible
True inspiration comes from within and without
But when one spends time with those who have no need or desire to create and experience genuine spiritual/conceptual expansion, you become clogged by their ignorance
I am now 20 and I know this is true
So let’s quit the lollygagging shall we
I am not subjecting myself to pettiness
I can’t a harbour of hatred and jealousy or mindless self indulgence
I am not perfect or often anywhere close
I let existential depression cripple me
I refuse to become what is deemed a productive member of society
I am not motivated to meet this society’s standards of education
But I’ll tell you I’ve been enlightened
People are doors to opportunity
Choose wisely
And don’t hide in your literal or metaphorical room
I haven’t learned enough in my free time
In all these years
Not enough but I won’t discredit what I do know
I value my life and the lives of others
I have a hard time accepting that I must become a part of this society in terms of jobs/taxes/social status/degrees
I told my mom that I don’t want to be a part of it
It seems so impossible but
When this earth somehow formed
There were no rules
Rules and regulations, hierarchies, social constructs did not exist and did not have to
These are ideas, concepts,they exist because they were created by people, and any one person has as much say what to do with their own lives as the next because we are all simply flesh,
We don’t have to live as we’re told
So long as your aim is not to harm other people
And if that’s the sort of person you are you’re probably okay with leading a shallow sheepish life anyway
I don’t know anything about anything
But I’ll keep trying my hand
I’ve made two really good friends and I hope to repair a few friendships that went terribly wrong and to see the people I miss and to begin to keep the only toxic friend I have at a distance
If Ryan leaves me for his ex girlfriend, an idea I’ve let torture me, Ive made the realization that it has nothing to do with me. And I would simply move on and thank him for what he’s done for me. This gives me peace. She is the kind of person who bullies. She tries to make me insecure about my singing ability. She copies me. I have no desire to pay attention to someone of this nature. And even still despite my disdain, I would be genuine towards her if she could ever manage to do the same for me. This gives me peace.
I love a good handful of souls and I have room for more. Even ones that may no longer love me back.
I want the best for us all
Live by your heart and it will not wilt away
Anyone who manipulates you is not loving you in that moment
Let us all figure out who we are and make that living thing happy, and reciprocate the goodness and inexhaustible thrill of living that has once emanated from us all